Will It Blend? That is the question! Bill Me Later and Blendtec have teamed up to rid the holidays of all the hassles that drive us crazy. Tired of fighting over a parking spot at the mall or standing in a long line to check out? Hate having to fill out long forms and finding your credit cards when shopping online? Well look no further, they’re all going away with the push of a button.
Not so long ago in a galaxy not that far away, too many fruitcakes were given as gifts. Four Fruitcake Warriors set out to develop a bold new defense against unwanted fruitcakes. This is their story. Be sure to check back often for more ways to defend yourself against this dreaded holiday creation.
Humans may not like fruitcake, but apparently squirrels do. It’s 70% fruit and nuts after all! We wanted to give you a little behind-the-scenes peek at how one actually fashions ammunition out of fruitcake. We then decided to demonstrate the power of the Omega 380 by firing into the trunk of a large tree. A lucky squirrel (who was almost very very unlucky) happened along at just the right time. Here’s what happened…
We all know there are certain things that shouldn’t go in a microwave…tin foil, forks, small pets. Nobody said anything about a fruitcake. Watch what happens when Jeremy nukes this brick of fruit and nuts in our 1000 watt oven of fruitcake annihilation. Be sure to check back for more ways to dispose of this dreaded substance. Oh, and don’t try this at home!
Since the guys at Omega 380 fashioned a new aiming device for their fruitcake cannon, we decided to see just how accurate a 23 foot long fruitcake artillery piece could be. We all know the tale of William Tell and the apple, but an arrow just seemed too easy. Omega 380 team member Josh Deupree bravely volunteered his body to science for this experiment. I think this goes without saying, but don’t try this at home! Be sure to check back soon for our next Operation Fruitcake episode!
Since the Chinese invented gunpowder during the Tang Dynasty, one of mankind’s most efficient methods for disposing of unwanted substances has been the explosion. We thought it only fitting that this fruitcake “go out with a bang.” Just remember, don’t try this at home. Be sure to check back often for more ways to dispose of this dreaded substance!
How do you like your fruitcake? Well done? Flame broiled? We decided to take it to the next level with over 120,000 BTUs of liquid propane-fueled power. After being re-gifted dozens of times, this fruitcake will harm people no more. Just remember, don’t try this at home. Be sure to check back often for more ways to dispose of this dreaded substance!
Fruitcake fever really has caught on here at Bill Me Later. Four of our own intrepid employees in our IT department decided to see if it was possible to launch a rocket powered fruitcake to the skies. Will it achieve orbit? Will it blow up on the launch pad? Lets find out. Be sure to check back for more fun ways to rid yourself of fruitcake once and for all.
This video comes to us from the esteemed Institute for Fruitcake Research, Unintended Technology and Experimentation, or I.F.R.U.I.T.E., at Virginia Wesleyan College. In this experiment, Doctors Edward Clark and Cameron McDonald investigate the destructive effects of firing fruitcake at a test vehicle. Remember, don’t try this at home. These are trained professionals.
This video comes to us from the esteemed Institute for Fruitcake Research, Unintended Technology and Experimentation, or I.F.R.U.I.T.E., at Virginia Wesleyan College. In this experiment, Doctors Edward Clark and Cameron McDonald investigate the destructive effects of hitting fruitcake with various golf clubs. Remember, don’t try this at home. These are trained professionals. Be sure to check back often for more experiments from our friends at I.F.R.U.T.E.
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